Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Introduction

Welcome and thank you for visiting!

I have known Bobby for almost a year now. We have been talking about ways to share his story and a blog seemed like a good way to not only put his thoughts and experiences down in writing, but also connect with other people who have had similar experiences. Bobby tells me that he wants good things to come out of his life and one way to make that happen is to talk about his challenges, mistakes or successes in order to give others some insight into their own lives. Of course, that goes both ways, and he would very much like to hear about your stories, that they might impact him constructively.

So, by way of introduction, here is Bobby in his own words:
"My name is Bobby and this is my blog. This is how my life came about. The experience and the mistakes. The consequences that I have endured and what I have to do now to turn it around. The bottom line is this, I have made a lot of mistakes, and I do know one thing, that with everything that I have done I know that if anybody reads this, listens to this, hears this that I am living proof that you are able to change your life if you give yourself a chance. Because if you don't, you just may die."

Bobby has a lot on his plate. And that's understating it. When he was in his teens, his kidney's were found to be poly cystic. He got his first transplant at 18, his second at 30. Seven years later, last February, Bobby's kidney stopped working and he has been on dialysis three times a week, three and half hours at a time since then. He has other ailments, the most severe of which are gout, diabetes, and peripheral artery disease. He takes 13 kinds of medication including drugs to control the constant, chronic pain.

There is more to Bobby's story than his medical history. One of the main reasons he wanted to write this blog was to talk about his history of substance abuse. This is also an affliction that hit Bobby in his teens. First he was a 13 year old trying marijuana, forcing himself to drink beer (though he hated the taste), in order to fit in with the kids around him. Then he was 16 with a cocaine and LSD habit. Three years later he was sentenced to three years in jail and one year of in-house rehab for intent to distribute LSD and probation violation. As a result of the drug use he has lost many battles but Bobby continues to wage war on the urge to use and over the last year has won, he is clean. He knows he’ll never totally win the war against drug abuse, but he thinks he just may be able to get through to someone who can win that war. Maybe he can help that person walk away from it early on. When he can, he stays active with church, NA and AA groups. He says, “I am living proof that there is a God. And I can tell you, there definitely is a hell. I have seen marijuana to opiates to cocaine, just pure evil that makes harsh things happen. There has to be a heaven, but you have to realize that you can’t do it by yourself. Bottom line, this is a war. It's not just about drugs and alcohol, its about ourselves. Reprogramming our minds and doing something different. We need to realize that we can get by without drugs or alcohol or sexual urges or using violence to solve problems. When we don't realize that, those times are when we allow ourselves to be influenced by the devil. That’s when we are in denial. The definition of DENIAL is: Don’t Even kNow I Am Lying.

If you know of others going through an addiction to drugs or alcohol, or are a user yourself, this blog is for you. Bobby wants to share his story so that you can apply his lessons in your life or the life of a loved one.

Surrounding those two very big issues that Bobby deals with is his faith. God is a part of Bobby's life. Five months ago he was baptized at our church in Sterling, VA. Surrounded by his loved ones, he reaffirmed his commitment to Christ. I think it was an important moment for him. See, sometimes Bobby's troubles make him question, where is God right now? Why doesn't he talk to me? Can't I just get a break from ONE of my medical problems? The profound thing is that despite his suffering, he has learned to listen for God's answers to those questions. He is finding that the key is not what is happening with his body, its what happens in his heart and mind. And though that does not give an instant answer to those tough questions, it is remarkable that he remains dedicated to nurturing his relationship with God. It is our hope that you read into that and say, if he can do it, I can do it.

I will update with news from Bobby as often as I can. He would very much like you to comment about things you read, so please let us know you were here.

Talk to you soon.

3 comments:

  1. Bobby, you are courageous man. Many turn to God during tough times, just during tough times, and perhaps reaching out any time is a good thing, but what is special about you is that you recognize that you must take responsibility for your past, current, and future actions. You reach for a hand up not a hand out. People like to help other people. WE NEED to help others, it is the ONLY way to help ourselves. I have MS and can't type for long periods, but I will be back. People who seek help are God's gift to the rest of us. Thank you.

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  2. This is such a nice comment, Diane. Thank you and rest assured he will see this and respond.

    Brad

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  3. Hello Diane,

    First, thank you so much for your response. My only regret is that I didn’t turn my life around sooner. As I look back, everybody that I went to school with or used to hang out with, a good amount of them, are leading normal lives. They have a family, a house a job. They did what they were supposed to do. It didn’t become a job for them to use drugs or live life recklessly.. I lived recklessly because I felt that God or something owed me something. For real, I need to live life for my own sake.

    If I had just listened to friends or people that I hung out with I might not be where I am now. But I can’t turn back the clock. I can only go forward. Hopefully I will turn my life around in the right direction and in the process help someone along the way. The world we are living in now is more evil, vicious. It’s not like when I was growing up, which in my eyes, life was fun. Now it’s all about money, or killing somebody, it’s not about living life. It’s not about doing the right thing. Life is hard now, it ain’t easy. There’s people, kids, babies, dying in the streets, that have guns in their hands, needles in their arms, pipes in their mouths. When I was growing up we were thinking about smoking a joint and trying to find a girl. We didn’t have these vicious thoughts or this anger inside of us. So once again, I am living proof that God has spared me from all the evil that surrounded us, but we have to do something about it. And if I can make a good contribution to help somebody who is down on their luck, or lift somebody’s spirit up or make them feel that they are worth something, then I feel like, you know what?, there is still good out there and I did what I was supposed to do, because I am tired of doing things wrong and I don’t want to live that way anymore. If anybody reads this or feels this way, you need to know: only one person can actually make the change but it won’t be you by yourself. It’s like a choose your own adventure book, you can go the right way or the bad way. Hopefully you decide to take God with you because this is a rough world we are living in.

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