Don't be afraid to lean on people (Especially if they have leaned on you!)

Here is Bobby's first blog entry since leaving the rehab center. We sat down on Monday night. He spoke, I typed. Again, I have made small edits to sentences so that it is easier to read, but these are his words.

Bobby:
"I did not take the problems with my body seriously in the beginning. I thought it was a way to get out of school. I can remember the most exciting part of my day was going to work with my mom, getting a wrestling magazine and going to lunch with her after my doctor’s appointment. It wasn’t a happy time for me. When I would hear mom and dad talk about me, I knew something wasn’t right.

With this illness, I have endured a lot of things. For example, I never hit puberty and I have a lot of insecurity. I knew that I couldn’t do a lot of things that other kids could, and I had to compromise in other ways. I didn’t like to live my life like that, knowing I was different, so I became very rebellious, bitter and angry. One thing I have to say, though, is I have never forgotten what my Mom has done for me.

The disease I have is forever, it is never going to go away. It’s been something I have had to deal with for a very, very long time. It hasn’t been easy. Maybe that’s why I turned to drugs and alcohol. Why I didn’t turn to my mom or dad because there was nothing they could do about my illness, they could take me here or take me there, but nothing about it was ever going to change.

I hope that anybody who has a chance to read what I am sharing knows that they have a lot of ways to deal with their illness. This does not have to end. You do not have to give up. You CAN survive, you CAN live life. I recently had two fingers amputated and found out that I have very poor circulation. I am not getting sufficient blood flow in my body. But I can’t worry about that right now. I have to work on today.

I do know this: out of everything that I have gone through...and I mean this from the bottom of my heart...my mom is the reason that I am still alive. If it weren’t for her I would have died a long time ago.

As far as my past, I always knew days like this were coming, and my mom warned me but I didn’t listen. Asking for help is not a weak thing. It’s not about pride. It’s about doing the right thing, and finding out what I have to do to live. For me, I didn’t believe that and it hurt me physically, mentally and emotionally. It’s too late for me now, but it isn’t too late for anybody who reads and thinks that it is. Remember, illnesses do not discriminate. They don’t care what you look like or if you are having a bad day. They will attack. Don’t give them the pleasure, and don’t be afraid to ask for help."